I Love Your Beard BUT…: Jess Kenney


(Photo: Instagram @imjesskenney)

It should come as no surprise that there are two people involved in the growth of a beard: the man growing the beard and the lucky individual who has to interact with it. Believe it or not, some people do not like the feeling of a beard on a bare face, nor do they particularly appreciate when food gets trapped in your beard and they have to go near you. Sure, you beard is always a work in progress, and you’ve been keeping it “on fleek” as the kids say with your Scotch Porter products, but what if your regimen is not enough for the ones who love you? Yes, that’s a thing, so in our new SP Journal series, we ask ladies about the best and worst of their guys’ beards. Take note fellas, because hey, you’re not kissing yourself.

Name: Jess Kenney

Occupation: National Accounts Representative at Universal Music Group

What do you love the most about your guy’s beard: I’ve always been attracted to large men with beards, so right off the bat it’s aesthetically a huge turn-on for me. My boyfriend’s beard is exceptionally full—not patchy or scraggly— and he does a better job of grooming it than any other man I’ve ever known. He keeps it clean, soft, and always well-shaped. There’s a reddish tint to it that drives me wild, and he has little blonde hairs right below his lip that I think are adorable.

What do you hate the most about your guy’s beard: Most people would probably complain about the shedding, which isn’t my favorite, but it doesn’t feel fair to complain about that when I look at my shower drain. BUT, for us, the beard presents a very specific problem: Spicy foods. We both LOVE spicy foods, and we regularly dig into extra saucy, bone-in wings wherever we go. He usually orders whatever the spiciest sauce is, while I’ll usually order something medium-hot so my entire face doesn’t leak in front of him. For anyone who loves spicy food, you know that it’s harder to wash capsacin (the chemical that makes foods spicy) off your skin than it should be; a lesson I’ve learned the hard way when trying to take my contacts out at the end of the night. So, as you might expect, the sauce gets in his beard, and it will stay there until it is fully shampooed. If we make out HOURS later, my face will feel spicy from whatever sauce he couldn’t remove with a wetnap. It’s a weird problem.

Advice to guys on what to do to better their beards: Firstly, if your beard isn’t as full as you’d like it to be, take biotin! Women usually take this for fuller hair, brighter skin, and stronger nails, but it works for men too! I have a friend who thought he couldn’t grow a beard because it grew patchy and uneven, but after taking biotin for a few weeks, there was a major improvement and his beard looked great!


(Photo: Instagram @imjesskenney)

Once you have the beard, for the love of God, TAKE CARE OF IT! I know so many men with stringy beards that go out in all directions, but they think that simply by having grown a long beard, they’ve made it to “nice beard” status. Not the case, my friend. Use beard oil. Groom it. Shape it. Brush it. It shouldn’t look like you’ve just been electrocuted. If you’re planning on growing it long, be ready to accept the responsibility of the upkeep. Long beards should still look neat. Otherwise, keep it trimmed.

Advice to ladies on what to expect when their guy grows a beard: If he’s growing it long, expect it to be something like having a cat. You’re going to find hairs everywhere: in your sink, on your body, in your mouth, in your bed, on your clothes. You’re going to have to clean up after it. But overall, it’s a small price to pay for love and letting your man express himself through his appearance in a way that makes him feel good. If his beard isn’t growing in the way he hoped it would, he might be a little self-conscious.


(Photo: Instagram @imjesskenney)

If that happens, be supportive. It’s important to always remind your man that he’s attractive, beard or no beard. Don’t nag him to shave it if he doesn’t want to. No woman would like it if her man tried to tell her what she should and shouldn’t be doing with her appearance, and as women, we expect to be respected for who we are and the choices we make regarding our appearance. That respect should always go both ways! Let him be himself. Let him experiment. Love him no matter what.